Depressed 1

The issue: Okay. So depression sucks! Especially when you have kids to care for yet the depression makes you feel like you need to be cared for!


I am totally speaking about myself.


A flip-side look into the issue: I posted that "Controlled Strength" thought of mine because it helped me to remember that the Lord has given me love, peace and a sound mind. In other words, things aren't really as crazy as they tend to turn in my mind. The reality is that I'm still maturing and learning how to be a loving wife, mother and business woman... and along with those identities... how to be a godly woman in my now 30's after wondering where the heck the Essence of my 20's went to!




My take: So yeah... I have full right to not understand everything... full right to cry and pout at times for being bored out of my mind or mad that I can no longer wear my high heels as often as I'd like. I'm thankful to a wise friend & minister in the Lord, Allen, for reminding me not to try to fit myself in this box that I feel I'm suppose to be in at 30 - or as he put it, "The key is not trying to work yourself into a mold of what you never had". In fact, I'd like to be as far out of ANY box as possible. Why confine myself, when God has most likely purposed better for me than I have conceived?


An antedote: Like my friend said, "TALKING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS is a GOOD SIGN YOU ARE HEALING AND BEGINNING TO MAKE ROOM TO EMBRACE BETTER PARTS OF YOURSELF and transform who you are into a more complete person!" Thus my post.


Family: I thank God for a family that loves me through my depressed seasons whether for months at a time or an hour or two. Praise the Lord for my husband who is stable in his thinking when I'm unraveling at each end! Sometimes his stoic reactions to my cries for help are indescribably frustrating. But when he holds me in his warm, soothing, tatted and purposeful arms - and looks me in my eyes, I realize that his love for me is not blinding and nor is he numb to my hurts. Rather he's quite patient, selflessly intentional and forgiving without saying much of anything in response to my confusing needs. Very wise in my book...lol.