Quite often, Christians marry non-Christians or "merely professed Christians" and therefore can end up feeling "unequally yoked" to their spouse. As time goes on, the desire for the Christian to go deeper in their relationship with Christ can begin to cause a rift between the spouses.
Many things can begin to unfold in the marriage. One person may no longer want to go out to clubs or drink too much anymore - leaving the other spouse to feel tempted towards someone else who does. Or the person may no longer curse or talk the same, leaving the other spouse to feel like they no longer know who they are married to. Then comes an issue of tithing. The Christian may feel extreme desire to give 10% of their household income or at least some percentage, while their spouse may have no interest at all.
What to do?
Don't leave them unless you have reason according to the Bible; they commit adultery or they leave you first. And don't do things to try and make your spouse leave you!
This is where Christian spouses get tested hard! It's an awesome excuse to build your character.
Everything you do can get put under the radar by your non-believing spouse because they may or may not begin to hold you accountable. If you make mistakes, you don't get an understanding spouse; instead you get a condescending reaction. A husband will even quote a scripture like, "wives must submit to their husbands", and a non-believing wife may quote, "men love your wives like Christ loved the church"... then they get "spiritual" on you.
If a spouse won't allow you to tithe then read this Q & A.
Pray to change your perception! The circumstances don't change so change your perspective. Just because your spouse isn't understanding doesn't mean that you can't be more understanding without judging. You should be mature enough to know what you are dealing with and make daily intentional choices to genuinely love your spouse regardless of how they act. If a spouse becomes violent or abusive in any other way, then report it - get help.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Soulja Boy Gets Arrested???? Now You Know...
When you are with a bunch of people and, and they start running all of a sudden, you don't ask questions... you just run!So Soulja Boy Tell 'Em did just that - he ran! But at some point he finally remembered that his car was back at the location he ran from. When he went back, he was arrested for obstruction.
A gentleman that was still at the house told police that they were in the vacant house to shoot a video.
Also found on the scene were 8 counterfeit hundred dollar bills and another arrest was made, reports CNN. I don't know what that's about but I'm sure S.B. hardly needs fake money, he should have plenty as a self-made entertainer.
He ran, he got caught. I'm sure he'll make a song of it! I just had to blog on this because everyone knows that whether you have done something wrong or not, the average person runs if everyone else begins to run - it's a survival thing. Should he have really gotten arrested for reacting naturally? I'm just sayin'.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
What to do when there's Never Enough Money
This blog entry was inspired by Dawn. Thank you!
Some of us prepare or organize a budget for the sake of reaching certain financial goals. Others are forced to budget for the sake of staying afloat. And then there are those that are unable to practice the discipline of budgeting and are constantly drowning.
You do the best you can with what you have until you can make things better. I do not pretend to know the best financial answers, but my husband and I have become somewhat experts of what I call the "make it work" budget! (Tim Gunn couldn't have said it better!
I will try to give a quick installment of how to make it work.
This is great whether you are married, single, on one income, with or without a family and find it wise to be budgeting:
Tithing
Each person (if they believe) should give what is in their heart to give in joy. It depends on your own convictions. I do believe that tithing is crucial to every household but if you seem to be torn between paying your rent or mortgage amount and tithing, and you pay your rent instead, then ask what you can sacrifice your time and thoughts to that would please the Lord... something that He has set in your heart to do but just haven't, on top of having a mindset lorded by His ways.
Debt
- Hold off on making payments for the sake of meeting other obligations with loan deferments which save your credit
- Stick to making incredibly small payments (be careful of building interest with c/c's and loans)
- Or make extremely large payments to quickly get rid of the debt - try not to settle without creating a decent payment history first.
- Restructure your home loan if needed (call the news on them if they don't respond to you)
- Downgrade your vehicle from a hefty note to an attractive money saver (you may even help our planet in the process!)
- Call and simply ask for lower c/c rates to help you.
In all cases, you need just ask in many cases.
Food
- Clip the coupons, shop the bargain food stores (check expiration dates)and buy in bulk what you use the most of (like dinner meats from Sam's Club)
- grow your own fruits and veggies if possible
- In hard times we have a tendency to sometimes eat unhealthily in order to save. This can effect long term health so don't be afraid to call your local SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) center to enable you to afford the foods you want and need for you and your family. And they are accepted by all food stores including Sam's Club.
Entertainment
Only buy what you need but don't restrict yourself from simple pleasures with your family like renting a movie for a weekly movie night.
Extra Income
Sometimes finding work at home can be helpful for extra income:
Alpineaccess.com and other work at-home call center agencies can work for some.
Talents
If you have a talent that can produce immediate money, then go for it! But don't get so caught up in a project that you lose more money than you gain if it's not something you plan to do as a long term passion - don't simply do it for the money. (I had to learn the hard way.)
If there are people in your household with talents like writing, singing, performing... then enter contests that can win money to go towards education or just add to your household overall.
Arts, crafts, & around the house items
Dollar Stores (great for toddler learning, teachers, maintenance tools, home accents and projects)
- Ross, Marshalls, and Burlington are great for home decor, clothing and accessories!
- Places like "Name Brand Exchange" offer thrifty name brand clothes for fractions of their original costs. I love exchange thrift stores because you can trade in your old clothes for "new" clothes and never have to drop a dime. These types of thrift stores save oogles of money! They are also great for baby items like bouncers, walkers, carriers, strollers, etc - and if you have older clothing in good condition from another child that you can trade, you may never pay much of anything! For instance, I "bought" over $250 retail worth of baby items when I had my son, by trading my older daughters barely used items. I only paid $10 out of pocket!
As for furniture... like Maya Angelou's ex-husband taught her, "buy the best quality to be able to sell it for it's worth later, if need be" - or something like that.
Well that's all I'll say for now. But these things can help anyone to stay on a more disciplined financial plan if one is willing to practice humility and yet be proud to save.
Some of us prepare or organize a budget for the sake of reaching certain financial goals. Others are forced to budget for the sake of staying afloat. And then there are those that are unable to practice the discipline of budgeting and are constantly drowning.
You do the best you can with what you have until you can make things better. I do not pretend to know the best financial answers, but my husband and I have become somewhat experts of what I call the "make it work" budget! (Tim Gunn couldn't have said it better!
I will try to give a quick installment of how to make it work.
This is great whether you are married, single, on one income, with or without a family and find it wise to be budgeting:
Tithing
Each person (if they believe) should give what is in their heart to give in joy. It depends on your own convictions. I do believe that tithing is crucial to every household but if you seem to be torn between paying your rent or mortgage amount and tithing, and you pay your rent instead, then ask what you can sacrifice your time and thoughts to that would please the Lord... something that He has set in your heart to do but just haven't, on top of having a mindset lorded by His ways.
Debt
- Hold off on making payments for the sake of meeting other obligations with loan deferments which save your credit
- Stick to making incredibly small payments (be careful of building interest with c/c's and loans)
- Or make extremely large payments to quickly get rid of the debt - try not to settle without creating a decent payment history first.
- Restructure your home loan if needed (call the news on them if they don't respond to you)
- Downgrade your vehicle from a hefty note to an attractive money saver (you may even help our planet in the process!)
- Call and simply ask for lower c/c rates to help you.
In all cases, you need just ask in many cases.
Food
- Clip the coupons, shop the bargain food stores (check expiration dates)and buy in bulk what you use the most of (like dinner meats from Sam's Club)
- grow your own fruits and veggies if possible
- In hard times we have a tendency to sometimes eat unhealthily in order to save. This can effect long term health so don't be afraid to call your local SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) center to enable you to afford the foods you want and need for you and your family. And they are accepted by all food stores including Sam's Club.
Entertainment
Only buy what you need but don't restrict yourself from simple pleasures with your family like renting a movie for a weekly movie night.
Extra Income
Sometimes finding work at home can be helpful for extra income:
Alpineaccess.com and other work at-home call center agencies can work for some.
Talents
If you have a talent that can produce immediate money, then go for it! But don't get so caught up in a project that you lose more money than you gain if it's not something you plan to do as a long term passion - don't simply do it for the money. (I had to learn the hard way.)
If there are people in your household with talents like writing, singing, performing... then enter contests that can win money to go towards education or just add to your household overall.
Arts, crafts, & around the house items
Dollar Stores (great for toddler learning, teachers, maintenance tools, home accents and projects)
- Ross, Marshalls, and Burlington are great for home decor, clothing and accessories!
- Places like "Name Brand Exchange" offer thrifty name brand clothes for fractions of their original costs. I love exchange thrift stores because you can trade in your old clothes for "new" clothes and never have to drop a dime. These types of thrift stores save oogles of money! They are also great for baby items like bouncers, walkers, carriers, strollers, etc - and if you have older clothing in good condition from another child that you can trade, you may never pay much of anything! For instance, I "bought" over $250 retail worth of baby items when I had my son, by trading my older daughters barely used items. I only paid $10 out of pocket!
As for furniture... like Maya Angelou's ex-husband taught her, "buy the best quality to be able to sell it for it's worth later, if need be" - or something like that.
Well that's all I'll say for now. But these things can help anyone to stay on a more disciplined financial plan if one is willing to practice humility and yet be proud to save.
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